Jeannie's is a powerful story about vulnerability, bravery and the sheer resilience of the human spirit.
Jeannie was relinquished by her birth parents to a foster home at 15 months old and was later adopted at 2 ½. Her new family was large and all of the other children had also been adopted. Sadly, Jeannie’s adoptive parents were extremely abusive, both physically and mentally. She says, “they found reasons to punish or ground me every single day. They had ‘favorites,’ and I was not one of them.” With no one to trust, nurture and love you, can you imagine how confusing these circumstances would be for a young child? Then, from the age of 5-11, Jeannie was sexually abused by one of her older adoptive brothers. On the very first night he assaulted her, Jeannie’s parents walked in the room during the act. After their father pulled her brother off of her, Jeannie’s mother turned to her and said, “put your panties back on.” With that, they left the room and there were no further consequences for the boy and the incident was never mentioned again. SHE WAS 5 YEARS OLD and endured the sexual abuse for another 6 years. At that young age, she knew in her gut that this was wrong. She was terrified and confused. Her constant thought was, “We get in trouble for everything! If this is wrong…why didn’t he get in trouble that night?” Jeannie’s survival instinct took over and sadly was the only thing that protected her through her early childhood and teen years. That protective shield served her well and as she entered adulthood, Jeannie felt “lucky” that she “made it through” undamaged by her circumstances.
Life went on “normally” and Jeannie married the love of her life, Jimmy. They are blessed with 2 beautiful, healthy kids – a daughter and son. Finally, everything seemed exactly as it should be. But then, when their daughter turned 4, Jeannie realized she was “NOT ok.” She recognized her fiery, funny self in her little girl, who is also built just like she was at that age – about the same age the sexual abuse started for Jeannie. Her wall of protection was shattered; memories started flooding in along with pain, fear and anger. She says, “It was crippling, but I’m a mom, right? And with my husband’s job, he’s seasonally away more often than he’s home so I needed to be present and hold the line.” On her own, Jeannie started researching, reading, and watching videos to bring herself to a place of healing. She said, “I needed to feel my way through this and I needed the right tools in a way that accommodated my family’s lifestyle. So, I did my best to be a ‘mom’ while also bringing attention to ‘being and finding Jeannie’ again. I never lost myself, but I knew I was much bigger than who I was at the time and felt like the world was missing out on me. My goal was to find her and be her again – whatever that looked like. I feel like I’ve found her again and this shoot with Nancy is what she looks like. It helped me see and capture myself at the height of my journey.” Jeannie takes nothing for granted and has more gratitude in her heart than anyone I have ever met – a true testament to her character – she is a beautiful soul in every way. It was my profound pleasure to be a small part of her journey toward healing. If you are struggling, remember, you are strong and you are worthy. You deserve love. You deserve respect and you deserve honor. Peace and love to you all…
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